Malkmus mouths off

Above: “…But seriously, you’re a fraud and here’s why.”

Endearing for a host of fair and unfair reasons, Stephen Malkmus – former Pavement frontman – has always held a place in my heart because he talks shit like a rapper. Remember that ‘Range Life’ song where he starts beef with Stone Temple Pilots and Smashing Pumpkins? Scott Weiland still can’t look in a mirror. Anyways, in support of the new album from his band Stephen Malkmus and Jicks, the shaggy shit-slinger has been perfecting the art of unequivocally making his feelings known that the current state of indie rock is atrocious, without actually saying it. Prime example: this interview with The A.V. Club. Win Butler officially has new things to be upset about.

Hollerado hollas back

Above: Fruit of the Loom sighs with relief

Hollerado’s impish music video takedown of American Apparel is a work of parodic genius (and it doesn’t hurt that they got a Magic Johnson-worthy assist from Kid in the Hall Dave Foley, who plays AA founder and Dr. Evil-type Dov Charney). These Canuck rock pups are just getting started – made bounteously clear by their decision to answer our questions as a band and not foist the bassist or the ‘tape-looper’ off on us. If there’s any justice in the world, these guys will break.

Crackle: So, yeah, how did you guys get Dave Foley to star in your video?

Nixon Boyd: He came and watched us play at an otherwise empty bar in LA, and he liked our band so we asked him to do it. And he actually said yes! Plus, we have a good attitude towards menstruation.

Crackle: How did you get all those hot chicks in your video? Promise them free American Apparel?

Jake Boyd: Girls that hot pretty much only hang out with us when they’re getting paid…

NB: Not that we have a habit of paying for the company of hot girls…

Crackle: It takes a big, well, thumb for a band to thumb their nose at American Apparel, who seems to have bought 50 percent of the total music-website ad space. How did you guys get the idea?

JB: It’s hard to remember; I think a lot of it was director George Vale’s idea. I really liked the idea of poking some fun at American Apparel though, because they sell a lot of clothes and advertise so much… when you’re in the public eye [that much] I think it’s only natural to get made fun of a bit.

NB: Right, and we didn’t really have anything to lose.

Crackle: Have reactions to the video been positive? Negative? Both?

JB: Quite positive. Some think it’s funny, Foley’s performance gets a lot of praise, and I think people are enjoying the song too.

NB: It certainly got our parents’ attention; they like it a lot.

Baxter Dean: Unfortunately our junk hasn’t been the main focus of the video and I think that’s why some people may not connect to it as well as planned.

Crackle: A hypothetical: American Apparel founder Dov Charney offers to sponsor your band to the tune of $100,000 a year. The condition: you must endorse his brand in a series of print and web ads. Do you agree, and why?

Menno J. Alfred: Congratulations! That is the coolest question we have ever been asked. Granted we have only been a band for about a year and this is I think my 6th interview. But hooray for you guys. Ok, me, for sure I’d take his money. I mean I don’t even know the guy, hopefully he can take a joke…but I can for sure take his money. We are soooo far in debt…we need the resources to keep going. There are so many other things that need poking fun at, too.

Crackle: You played SXSW this month. Had you been before? Which bands were you guys most excited to check out?

MA: It was our first time and wow, what a blur. We saw a great set from MGMT at Stubbs, and one night we stumbled into a blues bar at the edge of town…i don’t even know if anyone in there realized that SXSW was even happening…probably the best stuff I saw all weekend.

NB: It was cool running into tons of people we’ve met over the past year – people in bands we’ve played with or sound “guys” or industry folks that we’d see randomly on the streets in the midst of it all. It was a great occasion and seemed a bit like spring break for the music world.

Crackle: Hollerado—where did the name come from? Is this just what would happen if a Ja Rule music video took place in the Rocky Mountain State?

MA: Hey your question is funnier than any answer we have ever come up with.

BD: Actually it is.

Crackle: When can fans expect a Hollerado album?

MA: Well we just released Demo in a Bag 5, which is still sold at our shows in a ziplock bag, but unlike its predecessors, it is also being sold on iTunes. In about ten minutes we’re actually gonna walk to our jam space to start writing our first real album.

23 flavors of funny, at Axl Rose’s expense

This is rich. Dr. Pepper got gobs of free publicity and, Tommy Hilfiger-style, disrespected Axl Rose, by offering a free can of their unappreciated beverage to every person in America on the condition that the mythical GnR Use Your Illusion follow-up, Chinese Democracy, comes out in 2008. And Axl said, hey! Thanks! Not sure whether this is the gratitude of a crumbled rock God desperate to stay in the public eye, or the creature living in Axl’s dreadlocks and controlling his thoughts totally missed the point. That album is never coming out.

Teddy Headphones drops the ball

What if video music interviews weren’t “well-edited”, “professional” and “compelling”? This question has apparently been consuming music journalist Teddy Headphones, who is pioneering a new, hyper-awkward, slightly-disinterested method of interviewing music stars. Here he barely asks LA indie rap fixture Pigeon John any questions at all, seems like he’d rather be somewhere else, and consistently undercuts his co-interviewer, who seems marginally more interested in their subject.

Since you didn’t find anything out about Pigeon John in this interview, peep his Wikipedia and his website. Teddy Headphones is kind of a mystery, but check out his rundown of the best records of 2007 for more uncomfortable silences.

Keanu Mayer appears on the horizon

The disease: not enough ruggedly-but-sensitively-handsome half-Japanese singer-songwriters in your life. The afflicted: Signs point to women ages 14-24. The cure: Justin Nozuka, who is like some unholy combination of Keanu Reeves and John Mayer sent back in time to set new swooning records. His swooning chops are unimpeachable, but his guitar and vocal ones are not half bad, either, as this clip from SXSW shows:

More on JN:

Half Japanese, half American Justin Nozuka was born in New York and grew up in Toronto, Raised by a single mother, Justin was the sixth of seven children, where all four of his brothers are artists in some form. As a teen, he spun Motown, folk and hip-hop as he fleshed out his music skills learning guitar with his Mexican friends at boarding school.

During his short career, Justin has already snagged stage time with John Cale, Crowded House, Ziggy Marley, Sam Roberts, Jully Black and Xavier Rudd.